heart of hearts.

i always knew that this is how it would all end up.

the scab has formed. the wound is healing. but i just cant seem to stop picking at it. i just cant seem to leave it a lone and let it heal.

i dont feel like i am in control of my emotions anymore.
i feel like im going to scare/push him away.
he'll remember why he did what he did in the first place.
im afraid of my decisions, i dont want to regret anything.
im afraid that things wont work out in my favor. but i will just roll with the punches.
these are all fears.

but in my heart of hearts i know that i am not alone. i know that i am loved. i know that someone thinks im good enough.

everything always works out in the end.

i am hopeful.