Doubt

i never really fully understand my emotions. one second i am on the top of the world. and the next it seems like im in the lowest vallies. i have all the hope in the world and the next second a cloud of doubt covers all that hope i had. i have no idea what to think.

i need to get over the past. things that have happened. words ive said. things ive done. they are yesterday's news. i cant change them i cant change anything except today. i can only change me. i pray that the lord gives me the strength to keep my eyes forward. focusing on the past is doing nothing but holding me back from the joy of the future.

i dont know what is going to happen. i only have hope. i hope in the lord. he knows the desires of my heart. he knows them better than i do. i will delight in him. always. the lord blesses people who has a heart on fire for him. my heart is burning for him. i have just been so focused on myself.

i need to stop thinking about myself all the time. it is getting me no where. i just want him to love me back. i know he does. i know that he loves me back. he is just hesitant to show it. i dont really blame him. he wasnt hesitant to show her. but that is the past. LOOK FORWARD.

i pray that the doubt in my heart be replaced with truth and hope. i want to happy again. i am having fun but there is a difference between having fun and being happy.