politics

i was thinking earlier today about politics. i dont know much about them. my family never talked about politics but as i have grown older i have decided my own political views.

i remember right after Obama was elected president all these christians were posting on the internet, things about how God has forgotten his people, and how much trouble we are going to be in for having Obama as president.

but i must ask my fellow christians, Where does your hope come from? does it come in the form of man or in form of the Holy Spirit? We are a group of people that was formed on faith, hope and love. Where is that mentality? God has not forgotten his people, his people have forgotten Him.

God chose Moses and person no one who have chosen to lead his people to the promised land. But he did it, it took him awhile (about 40 years) but they made it! it wasnt easy, but nothing ever is. He also chose Peter to be the rock of the church, Peter denied his best friend Jesus when Jesus needed him the most. But Peter was still looked on with favor.  

I feel this is one of those times, like when you see children throwing a tantrum in the grocery store and the parents just sit back and wait it out before they continue their shopping excursion. I feel like God does that a lot for his people. He listens to us bitch and moan and throw and tantrum and waits for us to finish before moving forward. God is a gentleman and never pushes himself on anyone, so he waits, lovingly. 

Another political hot topic in the news is Gay Marriage. I fully support Gay marriage. If two people regardless of their gender love each other and want to commit their lives to one another, who are we to say that they can't? The greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God with all you heart soul mind and strength, and to love our neighbors as ourselves.( Mark 12:30-31) Nowhere is God specific on who our neighbor is. I know in my heart it is EVERYONE! we are to love everyone like we love ourselves. it doesnt matter if they are black, white, gay, straight, man , woman it doesnt matter. Love love LOVE! it is all about love!

if you feel it is right to banned gay marriage, great! you are entitled to feel that way. everyone has their own opinion. i dont feel it is right to put discrimination into the constitution. i feel our children or grandchildren are going to be embarrassed of us, just as some people are embarrassed of their grandparents with strong racial views. 

if i have said it once i will say it again. it is all about love. love yourself, know who you are and whose you are. you are loved, adored , chosen by the creator of the universe and looks on us with love. there is nothing we can do to make him love us less. we are called to love. love is good. it is a true and pure way to be close with the creator.

we are still a family

i spent this weekend at Camp Amanda.

it was incredible.

just amazing stories about life, love and loss.

Camp Amanda is a camp for children teens and adults that have lost a loved one through homicide, accident, illness, suicide or war. 

i was extremely empathetic to these families. but i had a hard time myself.

i just kept thinking how lucky i am to have the people in my life. 

joe was there for the weekend with me. i couldnt imagine him not being in my life. i saw all these women who have lost their husbands and how difficult it can be.

and my mom. my mom and i are so close and our relationship is so special i just dont know what my life would be like without her, the same for my sister. my best friend since the womb. dana and i have this almost supernatural bond that cannot be put into words. how different my life would be with out them.

it is hard to hear all of these stories and not put them into your own life. i am so blessed to have the people in my life that love me unconditionally. i dont deserve it but im not going to take it for granted.

at the end of camp is where i got the most emotional. we have a balloon release ceremony where we present each family a balloon in honor of their loved one. we sing a song while doing so and the last line in the song is "even though we're changing, we are still a family". that is powerful stuff. 

even though things happen we lose people we love and life sometimes disappoints. but we are still a family. forever.

come what may

i think there is something wrong with me. 

i am not worried/stressed/scared to graduate.

im very content. i just feel like it is the next chapter in my life.

i think a lot of that goes with the fact that i have had a lot of changes in my life.

changes in schools, relationships, friendships, jobs, you name it, anything in my life and it was probably totally different a year ago. so its just another change, and come what may.

but because i am not worried about those things, makes me feel like there is something wrong.

im not worried about finding the job. i just want a job that brings me joy and i can do something that i know makes a difference for someone. that might be in PR it might be in teaching, or working in a coffee shop, it just might be a total surprise. i am ready for that challenge.

but, i am stressing about the people in my life. 

and as much as i pride myself in being an independent woman, i do care a lot about what people think. but i cant help but wonder, how do i feel about myself.

in the past year i have gained some weight, my wardrobe is a flop and my hair is the equivalent to a nasty old mop. so why do i expect people to respect me and take me seriously when i don't respect myself or take myself seriously for that matter. i do feel like i am not good enough and i let others make me feel that way. i may not have a 4.0 and i might not have all the brilliant ideas, but i know a have a lot of good stuff, sometimes it is just hard to see.  

t i have so much love in my heart, and sometimes i feel so full of joy that my heart dances. and somedays i dont. i just wish i had those joyful days everyday. i wish i wouldnt let others steal my joy. the joy of the Lord is my strength and it is mine to have, and much like my daily multi-vitamin i need to remember to take it.