New Stuff

a lot has been changing in my little world as of lately.

i was working at Macy's in downtown minneapolis.

i really liked it a lot.

i was then offered a job at wells fargo in downtown minneapolis as a teller.

the money is good, the benefits are really good. so are the hours.

it is a pretty good gig.

but i feel so alone.

when i am there i feel like no one cares about me as a person. no one asked about me, and i feel like i am just nosey when i ask people about their lives outside of work.

i guess i just long to feel connected to people.

i spend on average 3 min with each customer at wells fargo.

i try to make them count. i genuinely like to know how people's days are going.

i really want to know if they had a good weekend.

i know that people are genuienly good, and all people really want is to feel special.

if i can do that, that is more important to than any savings account i could offer.

but today at work, on my second day. i made a rookie mistake.

i cried.

i cried because i was overwhelmed, i cried because i was frustrated. i cried because i just needed to.

the worst part is i know one of my managers saw me cry. know i am just afraid that i will always be the girl who cried. "be careful around deanne, she might cry" is what i feel like he will tell others. but honestly the more i think about it. i dont care. just because i work for "the man", doesn't mean i have to give up my emotions or that fact that i am a real human being with feelings.

so that has been my life as of recently.

i just need to remember that i am more than my job.

it is not who i am.

it is what i do.

there is so much more to me.