one time only.

so i will be trying to blog more on this thing.

i think why i like this so much is that i know no one else reads this.

it feels like my own little secret spot in cyber-space.

this weekend was really interesting.

i spent it going what i would call "grown up things"

and i am a proud new aunt to caleb isaiah.

i was talking to my sister today (as i do everyday)

that i have no idea what is in store for my future.

joe and i are getting married in september. which is exciting.

starting the next chapter in my life. but career wise i have no idea.

i am a public relations major, and i just dont know where to put my heart.

i have been really thinking about teaching but that would require more school,

but all in all i think that i could handle more school. i just dont know what to do.

i dont have high expectations for myself career wise. i guess i wouldnt consider them low expectations, just realistic ones.  i would be perfectly content having a job that society considers not acceptable for a college graduate as long as it made my happy. i dont want a career just for no other reason than to make money.

i have never had money.

i most likely never will.

and i dont plan on having much anytime soon.

so as long as i am happy. im sticking with it.

so i guess i am making a promise to myself not to settle, for anything in any part of my life. 

i've only got one shot, so i plan on making it good.

cleaning

so over break my mom  made my sister and i clean out our room back home.

it was well needed as there are boxes of crap that have been collecting over the years.

old fashion magazines and letters from boyfriends and some graduations things.

so a big box was filled with lots of good things filled with memories that will be passed on to 

someone else to make more memories via the local thrift store.

one thing that my sister and i did not hesitate in giving away was these old books we had about dating. dating as a christian. the more i think about it, instead of donating them...they should have been burnt.

those books totally screwed up my idea of what being in a relationship with someone is. one of the books was called "i kissed dating goodbye". it was a book written about how dating is pointless. over the years and as i have grown up. i feel that it is totally false. 

I have not dated many guys nor do i feel like i have everything about relationships nailed down but i feel like i was kind of tricked into a way of thinking that isnt for everyone. through my relationships or dating whatever you want to call it, i have learned a lot about myself, and learned a lot about how it is to love someone. 

I have many loves in my life, i love my family and my friends but i have always known how to love them. but i havent always known how to love someone outside of my kin. 

i feel that finding out how to love someone outside what you have always known has really helped me to develop a better relationship with the lord. 

i mean when first getting to know and develop a relationship with the Lord, you do start off dating each other. getting to know each other intimately, knowing the character of each other and their hearts. I feel like it is important to do those things to help the relationship grow on honesty and just being real. 

so there is my 2 cents about that. not that i feel that people should be skankin' around thinking that is a way to grow closer to the lord, but dating and being in a relationship is work and it isnt easy all the time. 

i hope to remember that everyday to take time to work on the relationships in my life whether it is with my family, friends, joe and jesus. getting to know them more and in turn being able to grow in love. 

so as a disclaimer im sure not all books about dating are terrible, but somethings you may read... take with a grain of salt.